This one's for you, Jeff!
So say you want to dress up like an old lady for Halloween. But you're a dude. You can't just come straight out and tell everyone, "Hey, I'm being an old woman for Halloween because that would make me happy". So you construct a story about how a Little Red Riding Hood couples costume would be a good idea. "No honey," you persist, "You be Red Riding Hood. I'll be the frumpy old hag." Secretly, you've won a tiny battle in the war of the weird.
Enough ball breaking, I don't even know what the fuck I'm saying (damn you Monday Beers!). But if you're name is Jeff Nieberding and want to dress like a stinky old woman, then goddammit, I'm going to help.
Pictured is the actual wig (peppered for her pleasure) and a number of photos to aspire to. Place this grey wig atop of cherubic crown and transform into a haggard lump of drying bone topped with a dollop of white poof. Grand-mama mia!